I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
