mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
