He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
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