I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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