have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Randomize
