she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Randomize
