I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
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