I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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