My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
Randomize
