whjeg hajt iyt
wanna hang out?
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power