Insert tab A into swedish slot B
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...