Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
tonight lets celebrate not being married
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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