I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
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He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
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We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?