Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
These 19 Underage Drinkers Epicly Got By With A Horrible Fake ID
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
These Are The 21 Strangest Sexual Fantasy Confessions
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?