Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
Randomize
