My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
