her vagina looked like bernie madoff
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
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