On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
Randomize