I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
Randomize
