i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
Randomize
