Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
