If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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