hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
Randomize
