I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
Randomize
