If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
Blood and glitter go together right?
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
