how hairy? two words: wookie tits
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
I licked your asshole in confidence.
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