Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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