Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
Randomize
