Buhtt sex?
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
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