That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize
