1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Randomize
