I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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