I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Randomize