The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Randomize
