i already hear my dad disowning me
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Randomize
