I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
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I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
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I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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