So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
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