You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
Randomize
