They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
someone get that fucking seahorse.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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