quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Randomize
