VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
Randomize
