You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize