I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Randomize
