Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
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He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
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Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
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