i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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