I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Randomize
