the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
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