i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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