Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
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