STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
Pregnant stripper...not hot.
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
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