This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Randomize
