We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize
