It's Friday. Sex?
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Randomize
