i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
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