I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
Randomize
