He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
