I'm laying in your front yard are you home
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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