It's Friday. Sex?
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize
