btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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