My friends, they love my intelligence
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
I want her autograph on my taint
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
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