I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
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