I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
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