I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
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