Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Randomize
