Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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