dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
Randomize
