i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
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