Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
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