Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
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